Beautiful Complexity
by starrtrek
Summary: Hermione has a problem, a problem she can't share with anyone, especially her boyfriend, Ron. She looks for help in all the wrong places and ends up in a bigger problem than before. R/Hr, H/G, Fr/Hr, Pe/Hr.
1. To Mourn

_Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars?_

_I could really use a wish right now._

_- - Hayley Williams_

_Chapter One - To Mourn_

_Scrub. Scrub. Scrub._

Molly Weasley is the only mother I know who would insist on having the dishes washed on the morning of her son's funeral. Not that I'm complaining. Washing the dishes is keeping my hands busy. I can easily focus on lathering up the white china and wiping it clean of any remnants of food. I keep my gaze directly on the plate, not allowing myself to look up, to glance out the window above the sink. That window would show me a reality I couldn't accept. For now, I was content with washing the plates, oblivious to the world.

_Scrub. Scrub._

I wasn't at a funeral right now. I wasn't a part of whatever was going on outside. Nope. I'm in the kitchen of the Burrow, washing dishes for Mrs. Weasley. I can hear her getting ready upstairs. Footsteps leave her bedroom. I can hear the footsteps going down the crooked stairs, finding their way into the kitchen. The footsteps pay me no attention and walk outside. I try to stop myself from glancing outside, but I really can't help it.

The back of the Weasley's lawn was mowed and polished. Rows of chairs were lined up in a similar way to the wedding that had been here just a little less than a year ago. I can see Arthur directing a group of people to folded chairs, the morning sun blazing down on his balding head. I see Bill and Fleur sitting in the front, holding each other's hands as they look at each other, not speaking. In front of them, a sleek black casket sits upon the grass, dozens of bouquets surrounding it. My stomach tightens. I force myself to look back down again.

_Scrub._

The dirt refuses to come off of this plate. I shake it stubbornly, careful not to let it slip through my fingers. I sigh, and pull out my wand, pointing it at the plate. The dirt disappears. I stare at the empty spot where the dirt had just been. So many things can be fixed by magic. So many things can just be erased, as if they had never happened.

Why couldn't Fred's death have been fixed with magic?

There, I thought it. I allowed myself to think of him, of what had happened. I feel the sob rising in my gut, but I resist, scrubbing another plate until it sparkles clean. I place it down, and once again hear footsteps emerging from the stairs. This time, the footsteps draw near to me.

"Hermione." I smiled lightly; his voice did have a way of making everything okay. I turned around, the plates in the sink suddenly forgotten as I looked at Ron. He smiled in a weak way. I see that his eyes are red at the rims. He had recently been crying.

"Oh, Ron." I murmured, reaching out to wrap my arms around his waist, letting my head sink into his chest. I felt his wind around my back, and pat me. I was so stupid. It was _his_ brother that was dead. I should be comforting him. It seemed backwards.

"Are you okay?" He asked, pulling me back to look upon me, his blue eyes piercing me with concern. I swallow. That question burned me at the very core. Was I _okay? _No, of course I wasn't _bloody_ okay.

"Yes." I told him, smiling. He nodded, and squeezed me again, but I feel as though this time it's for him. Then, he let go of me. I stand back just in time to see Harry and Ginny walking down the stairs. Harry is putting on a black tie, his white oxford half-tucked into his noir pants. Ginny has her hair pulled back into a knot, and she wears a little black dress. I find it rather inappropriate for such an occasion, but I realize why she's doing it. I knew George would disapprove of such a dress. Most likely, Fred would too, wherever he was. She was trying to get his attention.

I sighed.

"I suppose we have to get this over with eventually." Harry said resignedly, tying one last knot in his tie. Ginny reaches over to tuck in his shirt. "Oh, thanks." Harry told her, unsmiling. Ginny is unemotional.

"Right." Ron agreed, reaching over to grasp my hand. I let him take it, and feel him tremble slightly. I place my hand on his shoulder, and he turns to me, shaking.

"Ron…" I started, but I never finish my condolence. At that moment, another Weasley walked into the room, tightening the tie strung across his neck. I suck in a breath, not able to breath further. I see Ron stiffen, and Harry's mouth drops.

George Weasley didn't need to make eye contact to make anyone in the room freeze. He was, of course, not his twin, but the resemblance was too identical not to take notice. I heard a strangled sob, and looked over to see Ginny crying. She muttered, "I'm sorry," and then ran from the room. I glanced back at George, who looked as if his tail had been stepped on. He said nothing, but walked by us, stepping outside.

I watch as Ron's face tightens, but he tries to dismiss it. "C'mon. We're gonna have to go outside." He said gruffly, tugging my hand to tow me along. Harry doesn't follow.

"I'm going to go calm Ginny down. We'll be down in a bit." And with that, Harry leaves. I feel another knot stretch in my stomach, but I ignore it. I follow Ron into the back lawn, watching mourners arrive and sit down. It's bright out. Too bright for such a dismal occasion.

Then, I remember whose funeral this was. This was _Fred Weasley _we were talking about. It should've been _brighter, _if nothing.

I stared down at my long black skirt, shaking my head silently. Fred wouldn't have wanted everyone to be wearing black. He'd want us in bright oranges, limes, yellows and aqua's. He'd want us to be celebrating his death, not mourning it. I felt a strange urge to rip off my black jacket and toss it to the ground, but I resisted. Besides, Ron was gripping my left hand rather tightly.

I recognize several people as they sit, talking to each other in quiet tones or not speaking at all. I see Angelina Johnson, wiping her eyes with her sleeve as she stares down into her lap, her hands folded. Her black braids fall into her face, but she doesn't raise a hand to brush them away. Sitting next to her is Alicia Spinnet and Katie Bell, both red-faced. Oliver Wood sat next to Katie, holding her hand. I didn't know they were dating. I felt happy for them; a brief happiness that faded in a second as I stared at the front of the chairs.

The Weasley clan was easily identifiable by their red hair. I saw Molly and Arthur huddled close together towards the centre, Molly sniffling into Arthur's coat. Bill and Fleur sat next to them, Fleur's radiant platinum hair shining brightly. Next to her was Charlie. George sat isolated in the next row, but I could tell he was there by choice. I noticed an empty chair next to Charlie. I counted the Weasley's in my head, calculating that Ron was next to me and Ginny was inside. Oh.

Percy.

Percy hadn't come to the funeral.

I felt the knot in my stomach tighten in a hard grip, this time making me gasp out in pain. Ron looked at me instantly, pulling me towards him. "Hermione, are you all right?" I swallowed, and nodded, my eyes tearing. The pain was becoming unbearable. I tried to ignore it, but the tears spilled over. Ron pulled me into his chest, pegging the tears for sadness and not pain. "It's okay, 'Mione, it's okay." I felt a drop of moisture hit my forehead. Ron was crying, too.

I breathed into his chest, the pain subsiding. I pulled away from him, grasping his hand again. I smiled weakly through my tears. "Let's sit down." He nodded, and I pulled him forward down the centre line, looking at the people I saw on the way. Lee Jordan, for once not looking chipper. Neville Longbottom and Seamus Finnegan, with Dean Thomas next to Parvati and Lavender. Even Cho Chang was here, sitting next to Michael Corner and Terry Boot and Padma Patil. All the members of the D.A sat together, their coins gripped tightly in their hands.

I pulled Ron towards George's lone row. I was careful not to look at George as I sat next to him while Ron sat on his other side. Soon, Harry was pulling Ginny down the row, closely followed by a somber looking Luna. "I'm sorry, George." The blonde whispered down the aisle in a breath.

George, who had been keeping such a blasé composure for so long, finally broke down. His face screwed up in agony and he let out a sob, weeping into his hands. The funeral had been quiet anyway, but it became dead silent at the sound of George's sobs. Ron gripped his brother's arm, tears flowing down his own freckled cheeks as he pressed his face into George's shoulder, his body shaking. I reached to intertwine my finger's with George's as I leaned my head against his upper arm, staring ahead at Fred's coffin. George gripped my hand so tight that it became numb. I didn't pull away.

An old philosopher stood in front of Fred's casket, and began reading from a book. I felt my lips tremble as moisture began to flood my eyes, this time in the pain of losing Fred. _This isn't what Fred would've wanted. _George must've known this as well, because his sobs did anything but slow as the man droned on. He was inconsolable.

Instead of staring at the man reading, I looked instead to the empty seat next to Charlie. I wondered if Percy even knew that the funeral was today. Surely he must have. Being the newly instated Minister of Magic must have given him knowledge on things like this. Such as a war hero's funeral. Such as his little brother's funeral.

_Fred. _I moaned in silent agony, moving my eyes up to the blank sky above me. It was overcast. Of course. I bit the inside of cheek to keep from howling in sorrow. I couldn't upset George. However, George knew that after him, I had a close second right to be upset. I deserved to be painfully mourning the loss of Fred Weasley. Why? Something happened days before the war. Something I couldn't control. Something I didn't _want to control._

_Fred Weasley told me he was in love with me._


	2. To Realize

**A/N:** So I wrote this fic for JulNoWriMo and then got a Macbook and stopped writing it. I spent a lot of time on this fic and I decided to post what I had accomplished. I think I got to like chapter 12 when I stopped writing. If people become interested, I'll keep writing, but obviously, Percy/Hermione isn't a very popular ship. ;)

* * *

_How can I decide what's right when you're clouding up mind?_

_- - Paramore_

**Chapter Two** - To Realize

My forehead was beginning to hurt. Rightfully so, I'd expect. I'd been pressing it into a glass window for over two hours straight.

Ron's room had it's advantages despite several problems. Yes, the ghoul was annoying as all hell with it's banging and yodelling, and the room shook in the wind so that I constantly felt as though I would fall out of the window. But it had a nice view, being on top of the crooked house.

I could see clearly over a large field. The sun was setting in a postcard perfect way over the field, and I could feel the day's final rays of sunshine leaving my face. I was trying to cling to it. I didn't want the darkness to come just yet. I didn't want the nightmares to start again.

The funeral had been long and painful, but I had somehow managed to get through it. I had focused much of my energy on comforting George. After the dreadful man had finished speaking, the Weasley's were forced to talk to their visitors. Forced to listen to the memories that would only remain as a painful imprint on their lives. Forced to remember when they were too hard on Fred, when they said things they didn't mean, or hurt his feelings. Too late to regret. Too late to apologize.

I let out a sigh, staring out over the darkening field. The room behind me was dark as well; I hadn't bothered to light a candle or flick on the light when I came in two hours previously. It had been light then. I was too transfixed to even take in the darkness. All I could see was Fred.

Fred was standing in the field, his hands locked behind his back. He stared into the dying sun, his cropped red hair blowing slightly in the light breeze that I could hear sweeping against the side of the house. I had been watching him intently for the past two hours. He looked like a statue, a perfect statue, staring into the light of day. I was begging him to turn around and look at me. My breath fogged up the glass, enlarging with every heaving breath.

"Fred…please." I whispered, my fingers kissing the glass lightly as I ached to be near him. Then, as if he heard my words, Fred turned around. I almost lost my balance while sitting on a chair. His azure eyes stared right into my chocolate ones from such a long distance, as if he knew I had been watching him. He broke out into that famous grin I had learned to love so much. His eyes matched his smile, laughing. I felt my stomach ripple as my lips rolled in together, my eyes squeezing tight as tears rolled down my face in six different directions at different speeds. I painted his grin into my brain, trying to hold on to the sight…

"Hermione." My eyes opened in shock. I felt my eyelids become lidded, and my fingers fell gently from the glass. Fred was gone. He was dead. He had never been in that field. At least not today.

I stared into the glass. It was dark enough to see George's reflection. I said nothing, but looked at him indirectly. I'm not sure if George noticed or not.

George's reflection opened it's mouth, and then shut it. He looked so gaunt. I was reminded vaguely of the Bloody Baron. I could almost feel my sadness wash over me as I hoped that George would not lead the same dismal lifestyle; a living zombie. I finally spoke. "We don't need to discuss it, George. We really don't." My tone came out rougher than I intended, but looking at his reflection made me realize that he had not misconstrued it.

George stepped forward, his voice hollow. "Hermione…you're the only one who knows how I feel. The only one who was ever close enough to him to rival me." I finally turned in my chair, facing him. I could barely look at him without wanting to burst out into tears, just like everyone else. The missing ear didn't hold it back; he still looked like Fred.

Except Fred had never looked this downcast. Fred had never been this depressed. I opened my mouth to tell him that, but I doubted it would change anything. Instead, I defended him. "That's not true. I knew him intimately for three days. You knew him like that for your whole life." George looked at me, his expression painful. I want to stand up. I want to wrap my arms around him and tell him it's all going to be okay. But I don't. I feel the stabbing pain in my abdomen. It's tolerable enough to ignore.

"Sometimes, I wish I hadn't been his twin." George whispered, staring out the window behind me. "Then maybe this would've been easier." He then sighed, and ran a hand through his short red hair. He chuckled humourlessly. "Then I realize that I wouldn't be me without him." I stare at George, not able to speak. What could I say? How could I tell him it would be okay when we both knew it wouldn't be?

George then turned from me, and headed towards the door. He rested his hand on the handle, and then turned back to me, a small smile on his face. "He loved you for more than three days, 'Mione." I looked at him stonily, my mouth drawn in a tight line. If only I could say the same. George continued, his voice far off. "He wouldn't shut up about it, actually. Not after he saw you at the Yule Ball with Viktor Krum." George opened the door, casting light into the dark room. My eyes stung at the sudden intrusion. He then left without another word.

I stood up, finding my way to Ron's bed. I was so tired. I had been staying up purposefully lately, trying to rid myself of the nightmares. I couldn't do that tonight. I needed to sleep. I needed to forget about this harsh reality, even if only for a little while.

* * *

I woke up the next morning next to Ron. I was sweating for some reason. I realized that I had escaped my nightmares for one night. My sleep deprivation must have prevented the dreams from coming on. I rolled over onto my back, watching Ron snore. I smiled for the first time in what felt likes weeks. Probably was, too.

I climbed on top of Ron, resting my chin on his chest. He woke up slowly, rubbing his eyes as he looked down at me. He smiled. "Well, hello there." Ron leaned down to kiss me gently on the lips. I kissed him back, seizing the passion I had been keeping from myself. I tried to forget about the ghost of Fred on my lips, the memory of how he tasted, and the remnants of his fingers on my face…

Suddenly, I felt myself heave. I widened my eyes in horror, my cheeks puffing out. Ron snapped back from me abruptly, alarmed. "Hermione…?" Ron began to ask, but I rolled off of him quickly, running from the room. I felt my throat burn as I flung myself into the nearest toilet, bending over it to retch. I half-missed the toilet. I stared at the disgusting mess, the stench of it causing me to vomit again. I pulled my wand out shakily, making the mess and smell disappear. Ron stood at the doorway, concerned.

"Maybe you should see a Healer, Hermione. They'd explain the pain you've been having." I forgot that I had told him about the pain in my stomach the day before. I nodded, afraid to open my mouth. I smiled at him forcefully, not moving from my position on the toilet. Ron shifted uncomfortably. "I'll, er, get you a warm towel or something…" He trailed, stepping out and walking down the stairs. Once his footsteps left my hearing, I quickly closed the door with a flick of my wand.

Why did I keep having these stabbing pains? And on top of that, why was I throwing up? I tried to shuffle through the symptoms in my head. After all, I was going into Healer training in another month. Then I realized that the symptoms had nothing to do with being magical.

I was trembling as I pointed my wand at my centre, reciting the spell every girl was taught during their seventh year at Hogwarts. I couldn't believe this was happening. It was impossible. This didn't happen to girls like me. I was Hermione Granger, for Merlin's sake!

I tried to remember the result colours. If the tip of your wand turned blue, it was negative. But if it turned pink…

I gasped loudly, my wand clattering to the ground. A pink light made the small room glow. I felt the heat rising in my cheeks, and I shut my eyes tightly. No. No.

I was having Fred's baby.

Everything went black.

* * *

I woke up in Ron's bed once more. He was pressing a steaming towel onto my forehead, peering at me. "Hermione? Oh thank Merlin you're awake." He had a look of utmost relief on his face, bending down to kiss my face. His blue eyes were darker than usual, and his red hair trickled in front of his eyes as he looked at me. I looked away. My wand had obviously stopped glowing by the time he had rescued me. Otherwise, I knew I'd probably would've woken up somewhere in Scotland.

I looked back at him. Ron couldn't find out. He didn't know about me and Fred. I didn't know what that would do to him. He couldn't know that in approximately nine months, I'd be giving birth to Fred's child. The thought alone made me want to retch again.

"Ron?" I spoke in a hoarse voice. "Will you get me a glass of water?"

Ron nodded vigorously, and left at once. I let out a breath, and sat up, rubbing my forehead. I raced through my options, wildly blinded by the fact that I was pregnant.

I could tell Ron the truth. I could own up to everything, and see what his reaction would be. I imagined him turning red in fury, and telling his whole family. I could see them throwing me out, calling me a harlot. I shook my head, feeling the moisture dampen my eyes. I couldn't tell Ron. I couldn't tell Harry either, or Ginny. They'd be sure to tell him.

I didn't want to burden George. He had enough on his mind, and I knew this news would probably shake him up further. Fleur was pregnant herself; I couldn't just barge in and make Bill take care of us both. That would be unkind and rude. I didn't know Charlie well enough to be asking him any favours. I swallowed, staring at the ceiling. It had to be done. I had to do this. I couldn't hurt Ron. Not yet. Not until I figured these things out.

Standing up slowly, I reached over to Ron's desk and scribbled him a quick note. I hoped he'd be able to forgive me. I took a deep breath, and then spun in spot, a large crack erupting the silence. The uncomfortable sensation ended quickly, and I found myself outside an incredibly expensive looking flat. I paused, and then hesitantly knocked on the door.

I heard a scrambling from inside. Footsteps were drawing nearer, and papers were being dropped on surfaces. "For the last time, Fletcher, no, you can not sell amulets in the Muggle corner outside the Leaky Cauldron-" The door opened, and I saw a frazzled looking man in horn-rimmed glasses speaking into what looked like a radio, where a tiny voice was arguing. When he saw me, he dropped the radio. It fell to the ground with a large slamming sound, and the tiny voice faded. The red-headed man's mouth fell open.

"Hermione? What on Earth are you doing here?" Percy exclaimed, his eyes wide in surprise.

Before I could answer, I bent over, retching all over his shiny black shoes.

****


	3. To Trust

__

I know that I've got issues,

But you're pretty messed up, too.

- - Kelly Clarkson

**C****hapter Three **__

- To Trust

Making a good impression on Percy didn't exactly turn out the way I envisioned it would in my head.

"I am_ so_ sorry!" I cried, whipping out my wand to clean the horrific evidence of my shame. Percy just stared at his feet wordlessly, his lips pressed together tightly, his ears red. "Evanesco!" I muttered, pointing my wand at his feet. The vomit vanished. I stared up at him, gaping.

The first thing I noticed was that Percy's robes were black, deep black, all the way down to his feet. He looked like Snape in a way. From underneath the robes, I could tell that he looked thinner than usual. His skin was the complexion of pure ivory, making his freckles stand out. He had dark, sunken circles under his eyes. Overworking, I assumed. He looked utterly embarrassed and mortified, mirroring my feelings. He looked at me, speechless.

My cheeks blushing red, I almost forgot why I was here. I cross my arms shyly. "Er…could I come in?" Percy glared at me from the tops of his horn-rimmed glasses, but stepped aside, allowing me entrance. I walked in slowly, glancing around the flat. He certainly was doing well for himself. His kitchen was larger than the den back at the Burrow. His living room held a Muggle telly and several armchairs, along with a couch. There was a hall leading to a couple of rooms. The flat could fit a small family.

I guess being Minister for Magic had it's benefits.

I stood in the foyer awkwardly, rubbing my elbow. Percy was shutting the door, slowly turning to me. I briefly wondered what had made me choose this Weasley. He was by far the least friendly and least compassionate. But, he was the only one I had.

"To what do I owe the…pleasure?" Percy said haughtily, walking by me to close a book on the kitchen counter. The book was small, and looked like a Muggle book. I strained to see what the title was, but he blocked it, crossing his arms as he surveyed me. I straightened, and decided to not beat around the bush.

"I'm pregnant, Percy." I told him, my voice stronger than I thought it would be. I saw his eyebrows rise slightly and his lips part. However, he covered the flicker of emotion quickly, and continued watching me like I was a new, rare, and highly dangerous specimen.

"I don't understand why you're telling me this." Percy said coolly, his face nonchalant. "Why don't you just tell my brother?"

"Because he's dead." I told him harshly, my eyes narrowing. Percy could be so heartless sometimes. As I thought this, I realized how very wrong I was. For the moment I had spoken those words, Percy's face contorted in shock. He dropped his arms from his chest, staring at my stomach region. His mouth opened several times, but nothing came out. Then, a strangled, "Fred?"

Hearing his name from Percy's lips sent a chill down my spine. I could distinctly remember hearing that very name from his voice, only not so quiet. It had been in a scream, a scream of terror and pain. I exhaled roughly, realizing I had been holding my breath in. I nodded slowly, looking at the floor. I heard Percy gasp.

"B-but…Ron?" He spluttered, his face turning red. I felt very angry suddenly. Why would Percy presume that I had cheated on Ron? I gritted my teeth, glaring at him.

"It was before he and I got together. Maybe if you were more involved in your family's life, you'd know that." I internally kicked myself for letting my anger get the best of me. I watched as Percy's stunned disbelief turned into silent anger. His jaw flexed.

"What do you want?" Percy questioned me, taking a step forward. His eyes are back on me now, disapproving and disgusted. I looked away. I felt ashamed of myself. Why did I let myself come here? "Do you want money? Is that it?"

I looked back at him instantly, scowling. "No. I was going to ask if I could stay here, but I see now that your big head is taking up the spare room. I'm sorry to have bothered you." I made to stride out the door dramatically, but my toe stubbed against a desk. Before I knew it, I was on the ground, my chin jamming into Percy's cold kitchen floor. Feeling the skin break, I hissed in pain.

I felt a strong hand on each of my arms, hoisting me up. I let myself be tugged up, and then backed away from Percy. He watched me, and sighed. "Why didn't you ask somebody else?" He muttered, almost to himself. I felt the embarrassment creep up on me again, but I ignored it. I straightened my lilac shirt and pressed a hand to my throbbing chin.

"You're the only one I can trust with it." I told him truthfully, feeling the blood on my hand. Percy's eyes flashed, and he looked uncomfortable.

"Because I'm not speaking to my family." He finished for me, his tone dry. I nodded reluctantly. Percy grimaced, and reached behind me, pulling out a paper towel. He handed it to me, and then walked towards the door. "If I were to let you stay, which I'm not saying I would, by the way," Percy gave me a stern look, "we would have to set some ground rules. Such as, not telling anyone about our living arrangements. Not only would it embarrass you, but the Prophet can not find out about this. I'd be ruined."

I laughed humourlessly. "Yeah, rooming with your dead brother's lover who is dating your other brother could be construed as scandalous to some."

I could swear that I saw the hint of a smile on his face, but it may have just been my imagination.

He cleared his throat, and responded, "Exactly my point." Percy then walked back over to me. He raised his hand to my face. For a wild second, I thought he was going to strike me. Instead, he took the bloody napkin from my grip and handed me a clean one. "I also don't want you bringing over guests at night. I'd like some peace and quiet. I have a lot of work to do." I still couldn't fathom how someone like Percy was related to Fred and George. I nodded, deciding it'd be best to just agree with his terms.

Percy stared at me, and then relaxed. "Your room is the second on the left. I'm the first on the right. The first on the left is the bathroom." He turned from me, and walked towards the hallway. I turned towards the counter, tossing the paper towel in the rubbish bin. I heard Percy stop. Curious, I turned back to him. His face was suddenly full of carefully hidden distraught. After dealing with so many saddened people (including myself), I could see the sorrow in his face.

"The funeral was yesterday, you know." I said, breaking the silence. I tucked a strand of bushy hair behind my ear.

Percy looked at me, swallowing as his jaw flexed again. "I know." He voice was not full of the pompous air it had had before. It was now remorseful and miserable. I was quite reminded of George, but I pushed that away.

"Why didn't you go?" I asked carefully, eyeing him pensively. I watched him suck in a breath, and speak to the ground, his eyes half closed.

"I didn't think that they'd want to see the one who murdered their son." Percy told me quietly. My eyes widened, a million things to say running through my head. No, Percy, you didn't kill Fred. Rookwood did. It wasn't your fault. None of these things managed to make it into my voice. Percy turned on his heel and walked into the first door on the right, and closed it behind him.

__


	4. To Lie

_Don't waste your time on me,_

_you're already the voice inside my head. _

_- - Blink 182_

**Chapter Four **- To Lie

I had slept in my clothes that night. The room Percy was letting me stay in was surprisingly nice. The walls were beige, and the windows had sweeping lace curtains that hit the floor. The bed spread matched the curtains, as did the sheets and the pillows. There was a small cupboard in the wall, and a wardrobe across the bed. It was a pleasant room.

I woke up, feeling the sickness rise in me again. I rolled out of bed quickly, racing out of the room to find the bathroom. I opened the first door I saw, which happened to be Percy's bedroom. He stood in the middle of his room, fastening a belt around his trousers. His upper body was bare, and I saw that Percy was actually quite muscular in his arms and shoulders. This observation was soon forgotten when Percy noticed me, and let out a yelp.

I quickly turned around, and shut the door with a slam. Damn! I raced to the bathroom, and bent over the toilet, vomiting. The sound was ghastly even to me. I breathed heavily, tears pouring down my face from the exhaustion of it all. I felt someone step behind me. I turned to see Percy standing there, his shirt on. His cheeks were tinted pink, and he was already making the vomit vanish before I could. I leaned on the toilet, breathing. "Thanks." I murmured, grateful.

Percy looked extremely uncomfortable. I wasn't used to seeing him so perplexed. He usually had a lot to say, and was very loud about it. "Er…you may want to stay home today. You're going to be very tired, and most likely not of use to anyone. Just stay in bed, okay?" I gaped up at him, my eyebrows raised.

"How would you know anything about being pregnant?" I asked, not in a rude tone, but a curious one. For the first time since I had arrived, I saw Percy smile lightly.

"You forget I have four younger siblings." Then, the smile faded. I knew why. He only had three younger siblings now. I looked down, not wanting to see the comprehension flicker on his face.

"Right, well. I have to go to work." Percy said, his arrogant tone returning as he made his way out of the door. He paused, and looked back at me. He looked extremely awkward as he said, "If you need anything…you can just, er, contact me." I nodded, feeling pitiful. Percy nodded once, and then moved to the living room. I heard the loud crack. I let out a sigh.

Percy was being incredibly nice about the situation. I expected he'd turn me away, pure disgust written over his superior features. I still thought that he was uncomfortable with the situation, but at least he was letting me stay. I pulled myself up, straightening my clothes out. I then moved to the mirror, pulling my obnoxious hair back into a knot. I went back to my room, pulling on a dark blue blouse and white pants that I found in the dresser. Apparently, I was not the first female guest to have stayed with Percy. I walked out into the living room and disapparated.

I landed on the front lawn of the Burrow. I could see Mrs. Weasley cooking through the front window, and I saw several people sitting at the table. I made my way to the door, and knocked, trying to prep for what I'd tell them. The door opened, and Arthur stood there, looking relieved.

"Oh, Hermione! You gave us a right scare." He let me in, and I saw Ron, Harry, Bill, and Charlie sitting around the table. Ron stood up immediately, making his way over to me. He looked worried.

"Where did you go?" Ron demanded, taking my hands. I squeezed them reassuringly. Okay, Hermione, time to lie.

"I went to St. Mungo's. They said I was fine." I told him, smiling. He smiled as well, looking happier than I had seen him in weeks. Oh, Merlin. This was going to be difficult.

"That's fantastic, 'Mione!" He shouted, hugging me tightly. I saw Bill and Charlie grin, and Harry make his way over to hug me. I couldn't do this. I was going to rip out their hearts. They really did care about me as much as I cared for them.

I pulled back from Ron, my smile fading. "Well, er…I've decided I'm going to stay with my Aunt Regina. Her flat is right near Diagon Alley. She's a Muggle, of course, so I can't have people over…but I'd still love to come here."

Ron looked deflated, but I kept going. "They have a job opening for a trainee Healer, and I'm going to take it. I figure that since I'm not in school, I'll need a profession, right?" Harry nodded, moving back towards the table. Ron just stood there, staring at me.

"But I thought you were going to be an Auror, like me and Harry!" Ron argued, looking positively defiant.

I shook my head. "I don't want to be an Auror. It's too painful." I admitted, looking away from him. I heard the room grow silent as Ron and I stood across from each other, fighting. Then, Mrs. Weasley's voice broke out.

"Let her do what she wants, Ron. She'll be quite safe working in a hospital." Molly intervened, putting bacon-and-egg sandwiches on the table. Bill and Charlie dove for them, stuffing them in their mouths. I fought the urge to giggle. Instead, I looked at Ron.

Ron sighed, and nodded. "If that's what you want, then." He reasoned, but I could tell he was put out. He walked back to sit with Harry, reaching for a sandwich. He raised one up, pointing it at me. "Want some, Hermione?"

The stench of bacon suddenly crept into my nostrils. I felt like I was going to be sick again. I shook my head violently, saying very quickly, "No, thanks, I have to go to work!" before clamping a hand over my mouth and disapparating.

St. Mungo's was busy at this time of year. I could see several disfigured people sitting in the waiting chairs, flipping through old newspapers. The sickness seemed to evaporate from my system as soon as the bacon left the atmosphere. I looked around for someone who could help, and spotted a large woman manning a front desk that said Administration. I walked over to her, and stood in front of the desk. She stared up at me slowly, as if wondering what my ailment was.

"Hello." I told her brightly, trying to sound better than I felt. She grunted. My composure weakened. "Er, I was wondering if there were any spots open in Healer trainee programme?" She gave me a displeasing look as she shuffled through her paperwork, stopping on a bright pink slip.

"Yes, there is a spot open. Name?" She responded dully. I gave it to her, and was officially signed up for the Healer programme. I started right away, learning under Healer Patrick Mooninghamn. He was an older man, well into his fifties, but he was extremely pleasant. He complimented my work and helped me learn some things that every Healer should know. I spent the day at the programme, focused on my career for once.

I walked away feeling slightly more optimistic than when I had woken up. I tucked my fringes behind my ears as I left the hospital, thinking about my future.

The programme would distract me from the horrible secrets I was keeping from my family. Since Percy worked during the day and worked at home when the night came, I wouldn't have to bother him. Everything seemed to be falling into place. I smiled to myself, satisfied with what I had. I walked briskly down Diagon Alley. It was twilight; work had ended later than I thought it would. Hardly anyone was in the street now. I walked slowly, measuring each step.

I looked up, spotting Weasley's Wizard Wheezes. I felt my stomach twinge. I walked up to it automatically, not taking notice in the closed sign hanging on the door. I stood in front of the window, looking inside.

George was standing behind the front desk, reading some papers. He looked at ease and normal, until I noticed which paper's he was reading. I closed my eyes, a scene playing instantly in my mind's eye.

_"Hermione!" Fred exclaimed, sliding down the long banister of the shop. I grinned as he wrapped his arms around my waist, and picked me up, spinning me around as he kissed me enthusiastically. "I didn't think you were going to come back!"_

_"And be away from you? I think not." I argued mockingly, pecking him on his long nose. He beamed, pecking me on the lips. My heart bounced, and I squeezed him tight._

_"Careful, love. You're bruising my ribs." He let go of me, clutching his sides, faking an injury. I swatted him lightly on the arm, and watched him move towards the desk. He pulled out a stack of papers and started searching through them._

_"What are those?" I asked, walking to stand across from him. Fred brought the papers to my eye level, and then smacked them back down on the desk._

_"Proto-types. George and I came up with a new product: Nosy Notes." I wrinkled my nose and tilted my head._

_"And what exactly are these 'Nosy Notes'?" I tried to pull one from his grasp, but he was too strong._

_"You can write down anything on them. Your undying love, your gleeful amount of hatred…anything like that. The only person who can read it is the person it's meant for. It will look like a lot of codswallop to anyone else." Fred sighed, looking at the first page. "I wrote a letter to each member of my family. They describe how I feel about each one."_

_I was curious to see if I had gotten a letter, but I resisted. Instead, I asked, "Are you ever going to give them out?"_

_Fred backed away, mock gaping. "I'll take these letters to the grave!" I leaned over the desk, and reached out to grab his tie. I pulled him closer so that he would too lean over the desk, and smiled at him, our noses brushing against each other._

_"I'll expect mine before then, I hope." I tried to persuade him indirectly to show me mine, but he caught on._

_"Maybe, maybe not. Depends on how nice you are to me." He shot back, smirking._

_I smiled wider, and leaned in. "I can be incredibly nice." I then pressed my lips to his, tasting his sweet, candy-flavoured lips…_

I didn't realize that my face was wet until I felt the moisture leak into my mouth. I exhaled, turning from the sight of George. I could hardly stand this pain anymore. He must have found his letter. I realized how much I wanted mine.

I turned on the spot, vanishing from the damned Alley. I found myself in the middle of Percy's living room once more. He sat behind the counter of his table, his horn-rimmed glasses surveying the Daily Prophet. He glanced at me as I appeared.

"I take it that you did not follow my advice." Percy said simply, turning a page of the paper. I straightened my clothes, looking at him briefly.

"I had things to do." I answered, walking towards the hallway.

"Your clothes arrived, by the way." Percy's voice came from behind me. I frowned, not comprehending him.

"B-but…nobody knows I'm here!" I cried, turning towards him. He shrugged, and kept reading his paper, his hand resting under his chin. He looked up at me then, and caught my eye.

"I guess it was nobody then." Percy was so damn infuriating. I closed my eyes in frustration, turning around once more. I walked to my room, and shut the door. Sure enough, a suitcase full of my belongings rested on the bed. I felt cautious; how did anyone know I was here? One look at the clock told me not to care. I was tired again.

I got out of my clothes, and put on a purple cami along with lime green shorts. I crawled into bed, thinking about Fred, my finger tracing my stomach.

I really wish he was here right now.


	5. To Connect

__

And I would have stayed up with you all night

had I known how to save a life.

- - The Fray

**Chapter Five **- To Connect

The weekends were the only times that I really saw Percy. He was either at high-class Ministry functions or working late into the night during the week. The weekends were no exception to him working, but he did this from home instead of at the Ministry. He sat at his kitchen counter, sipping a coffee as he read over some legal work. I sat in a loveseat, my hands resting on my admirable baby bump. It wasn't too noticeable yet; only to me.

I had the telly on in the background as I filled out some paperwork for my healer trainee programme. The telly was the only dark coloured thing in the room. The couch was tan, and the walls were white. The loveseats were tan, and the carpet was beige. Everything was neutral. It made me sort of sickened in a way. I was so used to bright colours and excitement. Percy's interior decoration was that of a muted professional. It was nice, but a little too nice.

I heard Percy stand up and go to the counter, probably to fill up his coffee. I took this as an opportunity to look at him. He wasn't unattractive at all. He wore a black turtleneck that clung to his defined stomach muscles. He was thin and a bit peaky, but muscular, all the same. His arms were not nearly as slight as I would've thought. His khakis fell to his ankles, and he wore black dress socks. I internally laughed. Percy was always quite formal, even on a Saturday morning.

I was still surprised that he had even let me in at all. Percy and I got along very well until my fourth year. I actually think that I was one of Percy's only real friends until I was fourteen, and he was eighteen. He had his prefects, but other than that, I remembered him talking to me quite frequently. Yes, it had all been purely educational. None of it was about feelings or emotions. It was always about school, or lessons, or homework, or revising. It was a practical friendship. I had always had a small crush on him. We never discussed normal things. I suppose that was why it was so awkward to be in this sort of a situation before; without textbook knowledge, he was awkward.

My fourth year had been the determining point, however. He had made it clear how he felt about house-elves. It firmly squashed my small infatuation. That and he running off to join the Ministry and abandoning his family. But I felt as if Percy was a lot better now, even if he didn't show it. When Kingsley offered him the position of Minister, I hoped that he had taken it to benefit Kingsley and not for himself. I didn't know the truth, however.

Percy turned suddenly, as if he could hear my thoughts. He caught my eye, and shot me a questioning expression. He was probably wondering why I was staring at him so intently. Merlin, I could be so daft. I looked down, shrugging slightly. I turned my eyes back to the telly, seeing two pretty girls leap across the screen, flipping their golden hair. Annoyed, I shut it off.

"Can I ask you something?" Percy said as soon as the telly turned off. I looked at him, hoping he wasn't going to ask why I had been gawking at him like an idiot.

"Sure." I replied curiously, resting the remote on my armchair. Percy straightened, clearing his throat. He stood behind the counter, bracing it with his hands. He adjusted his horn-rimmed glasses, and pushed his papers to the side. I had never seen him look so uncomfortable.

"Was the thing you had with Fred," He paused at the name, "er, was it love or…well, you know, purely physical?"

"It was love, Percy." I told him without hesitation. Percy nodded, and looked back at his papers, but it didn't look like he was reading them.

" I just never saw that coming." Percy admitted, rubbing the back of his neck, continuously staring down. "I would've expected you and Ron."

"Ron and I are together now." I remarked, realizing how bad that sounded. Percy did as well, for he gave me a disbelieving look as he walked to the living room to perch himself on the coffee table directly in front of me.

"Are you ever going to tell him about any of this?" Percy asked, folding his hands in front of him. I sighed.

"I'll have to eventually, I suppose. I guess I'm just putting it off." I still didn't know why I was doing this. I knew I should come clean. It was the most sensible thing to do. Why was I still here?

Percy stared at me over his glasses, rubbing his hands together. He exhaled and then said in a rush, "What happened with you and Fred?" He seemed very disgusted with himself for asking, as he immediately started apologizing. I held up my hand. I knew I had to tell someone the story.

"No, I'll tell you." I put the paperwork beside me, leaning forward. Percy watched me intently, as if I were his favourite professor lecturing.

_Weasley's Wizard Wheezes was not as packed as I assumed it was going to be. On the contrary, there was no one there. I opened the door cautiously, peeking in. I saw a red head standing behind the desk, folding some papers. I closed the door behind me, and he looked up._

_"Oh, hey, Hermione." Fred greeted me, stacking the papers into a semi-neat pile. I walked towards the desk, watching him stack the papers. "What are you doing here?"_

_"I'm looking for Ron, actually. He and Harry vanished and I have no idea where they went." I confessed shamefully. I felt awful for letting them leave me in such a state. "You haven't seen him, have you?"_

_"Nope." Fred answered, coming from around the counter. "I'm sure their off somewhere having a right good party though. Merciful heavens." Fred rolled his eyes. "It's not like we're in a war or anything."_

_I nodded, not able to hide my downcast expression. Fred noticed. He put a hand on my shoulder, and straightened me. "What's wrong, love?" He asked kindly, drawing out a handkerchief. I pushed it away, shaking my head._

_"You don't want to know." I informed him. I walked away from him, sitting upon a bright orange couch in the back room. Fred followed, sitting down next to me. He was grinning._

_"On the contrary. I'm very keen on knowing things. Just look at my twelve O.." Fred stopped. "Wait a hot second…that may have been Percy." He winked. "Ah well, the recognition should go to someone's whose actually got a soul."_

Percy stiffened. I had been so into remembering the story that I had forgotten to edit that part out. I sighed, and reached a hand over impulsively, brushing it over his knee. "He didn't mean it, Percy, you know that." Percy just nodded. I drew my hand back, surveying him.

"Just continue." He muttered, staring down.

_I smacked Fred on the hand, and then let out a deep breath. "It's your idiot brother that's got me so wound up." I watched as Fred's expression tightened. I ignored it. "I mean, it's so obvious that he fancies me. Why can't he just come out with it already?"_

_"He's bang out of order, Hermione." Fred assured me, leaning in closer. I shrugged, shaking my head._

_"Maybe he's not. Maybe I am just that undesirable." I let myself fall into my knees, closing my eyes. I felt Fred's hands on my shoulders instantly, pushing me back up. I watched him curiously as he looked angry._

_"You are not undesirable. Believe me." Fred told me in a stern voice that reminded me of Mrs. Weasley. "Ron has no place to make you feel less than what you are. You're beautiful, Hermione, absolutely beautiful." I felt my heart melt suddenly as he brushed a few fringes away from eyes. I stared at him, my heart thumping so loud I was afraid he could hear it. _

_"Really?" I asked, in spite of myself. I wanted to hear him say it again._

_Fred smiled genuinely, his eyes bright. "Of course, love. You're gorgeous. Any bloke would be lucky to have you, especially Ronniekinns." I laughed, my hand resting on top of Fred's. "Any bloke in the world…"_

_"You're just saying that." I dismissed, waving my other hand. He looked at me seriously._

_"Come on, Hermione, would I joke around?" Fred bursted out into laughter, and I did as well. He then looked at me, his smile still lighting his face. "But seriously. I could name a good number of blokes who'd be cutting of their left hand to be with you."_

_"Oh yeah? Like who?" I challenged, not thinking about whether I'd be prepared for the answer or not._

_Fred straightened, and smiled lightly. "Like me." He said simply, his azure eyes beautifully staring into my dark ones. I laughed again. His smile faltered._

_"Enough with the jokes, Fred." I told him. He raised his eyebrows as if saying "How can you not think I'm serious right now?" My mouth opened in surprise, and I felt my heart thumping louder. All thoughts of Ron suddenly disappeared from my mind._

_Fred leaned in a pressed his lips to mine firmly, taking me by surprise. I had only been kissed by one other guy, and it had been more of a peck. This was something I had never experienced before. I kissed Fred back, my arms wrapping themselves around his neck. I felt him draw me nearer, pressing his hand against my lower back. He was pushing me back into the couch, hovering on top of me._

_Fred pulled back, his eyes softer than I had ever seen. "Hermione, I've been in love with you since my sixth year. You don't know how long I've been waiting for this." He kissed me again, and I realized how serious he was. Fred Weasley, being serious? It was laughable._

_I pulled away, suddenly self-cautious. He had been in love with me for three years, and I had barely given him a thought in that way. How was this fair? I could've been with Fred these past couple of years, instead of pining after Ron. I felt regret rise in me, but I tried to push that down. Fred was here now. Fred loved me now. I felt a feeling in me that I couldn't describe. It was like I had finally found my home, and I was finally happy and comfortable. I didn't know what it was, but I liked it immensely._

_I kissed Fred again, this time pushing him upright. I pulled back, my hands gently sweeping some ginger wisps from his forehead. "I want this. I want you." I informed him, my hands moving down his arms. _

_"But…" He glanced at the door, "Ron?" _

_"Forget Ron." I told him sincerely, kissing him forcefully to shut him up. Fred put his hands on my waist and picked me up. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he stood up, bringing me upstairs to his flat._

I finished the story. Percy didn't need to hear the details I kept so vividly in my mind. I frowned to myself; the story didn't make me cry. Usually I'd be sobbing by now, clinging to the nearest possible thing, dreadfully depressed for hours.

Percy was still looking down, taking the story in silence. He was breathing rather loudly, but I didn't make a comment. Instead, I grabbed the paperwork from next to me and continued filling it out, trying to escape from the memory resurfacing.

I saw Percy's head tilt up from the corner of my eye. He was looking at me, but with what expression, I don't know. I couldn't see. Then he asked, "So why are you with Ron now?"

I put the papers down. Nobody had ever asked me that question. Then again, nobody knew about Fred, except for George, and I knew George would never ask me that. It was very direct. Trust Percy to want to have his facts straight before he consumed anything. I raked a few fingers through my hair, and then looked at Percy.

"You have to understand that I loved Ron for years." I started, but Percy waved his hands.

"I get it, I get it." He replied, hastily standing up and going back to the counter. I stared after him, ticked off.

"No, you don't get it." I told him, standing up as well. I followed him to the counter, and reached out to grab his shoulder, turning him around to face me. The distance between us threw me off guard, I'll admit. But I stuck out my chin, trying to look more confident than I felt. "It had always been Ron. Always. I never thought of Fred that way because Fred was older and funny and I never thought he'd like a girl like me." I admitted, letting go of Percy's arm. "But the second I let myself belong to Fred and not Ron, I realized I had been missing out on something wonderful since I was fourteen. My heart completely belonged to Fred then, and not Ron." I sighed, backing away slightly, breaking my gaze from Percy.

"But when he died, I…I looked for any consolation whatsoever. And there Ron was. Everyone assumed we were going to get together anyway. And he made the first move, and I was too afraid of being alone. My feelings for Ron hadn't evaporated. They were still there, and I found them again."

Percy stared at me in silence, his expression stony. Then, he did something very un-Percy like. He touched me. It was just a hand on the shoulder, but it was human contact, nonetheless. "Listen to me, Hermione. You can't use Ron as just a consolation prize. If you loved Fred, and you truly loved him, then you can't just string Ron along because you're lonely." I was struck. Percy Weasley was giving me relationship advice? When did hell freeze over? "If you do have feelings for Ron, that's different. But with this baby coming, and you living here, and all of these lies you've created…it's only going to make things worse when he ends it with you first."

I stared at him. He was absolutely right. I was such a fool. How was I going to get out of all of these lies? I was going to hurt them all. I closed my eyes, cursing myself.

Percy's hand left me, and I felt him sidle past me, moving towards the hallway. I turned to look at him as he left. Percy stopped, his hand resting on the wall as he turned back to look at me. "You don't need to be lonely, Hermione. You have me now." With that, he disappeared behind his door.

A huge smile suddenly itched upon my face. I had no idea why.

__


	6. To Confess

_And it rains in your bedroom; everything is wrong._

_It rains when you're here and it rains when you're gone._

_- - Taylor Swift_

**Chapter Six** - To Confess

For a month, everything was fine. I hadn't been talking to Ron, and that was a drawback, but physically, I was okay. I got up each morning, got dressed, and went to work. I always got out at twilight, and walked down the empty street, passing Weasley's Wizard Wheezes every day without going in. The scene was the identical every single twilight. George would be standing, his head ducked down, his shoulders shaking. He never noticed me. I didn't want him to.

It was heart-wrenching to watch. I knew I couldn't do anything to end his pain. I found myself vain to be so saddened by Fred's death. I couldn't watch George without wishing it had be me that had died, and not Fred. I wish for it all the time. Apparently, George does as well.

I stand back from the window, mopping my eyes with my sleeve. I couldn't keep doing this. I was setting myself up for misery by watching George, poor George, every day. It was bringing me nowhere. I couldn't even go inside. I didn't know why, but my feet would just not move.

The baby was growing steadily. I was just ending my second month of pregnancy, so the baby was starting to show just a little. I only had a small baby bump, but that didn't stop me from weeping when my robes wouldn't fit right. I was acting extremely emotional lately. I have no idea why. Percy made it a point not to be around me when I was having a hormonal break down.

I rarely saw Percy at all anymore. He was always working extremely late, and the only time I saw him was early in the morning. We weren't exactly close roommates. He let me deal with my pregnancy on my own terms. I'm just grateful he gave me a place to stay.

I was leaving work when the problems started. Standing outside my work was none other than Ginny Weasley.

"Ginny?" I cried, breaking into a run as I saw her. She beamed. She wore a green sweater and dark jeans. I realized how long it was going to be until I could look thin like her again.

"Hermione!" She hugged me, and I wrapped my arms around her, never wanting to let go. I did eventually, and looked at her. Had it really been a month since I had last seen her?

"You look great, Ginny."

"Thanks." Ginny replied, looking at me. "You look, er…Hermione, have you gained weight?"

I swallowed. I knew Ginny was just being herself by being so forward, but it hurt nonetheless. I didn't care that it was because I was pregnant. It still hurt when people made comments like that. I tried to smile, but it turned into a grimace. "Yeah, I guess not running around Britain with Harry and Ron isn't good for me."

Ginny shot me a questioning look, but gave up. "Listen, I need to talk to you. Can we go to your flat?"

I shook my head. "No, Ginny, I told your family. My Aunt Regina-"

"-is a Muggle, yes. I understand that. But it's not like I'm going to perform the Bat-Bogey hex on her, 'Mione! I just need to talk to you. Please?" Ginny's brown eyes became wide, and I was an instant away from striding away from her, just so that she wouldn't follow. However, I wasn't that cruel.

"Oh, alright. But you can't stay long." I couldn't just turn her away, especially when I had been out of contact with everyone for a month. Besides, it would still be awhile until Percy came home, and I knew that Ginny doesn't know where he lives.

I extended my arm for her to grasp, and she grasped it, holding on tight. I turned on the spot, and apparated, bringing her along with me. Ginny gaped at the flat as we walked in. "Merlin, Hermione, your Aunt must be extremely rich!" Her eyes then stopped on a copy of the Daily Prophet. She quirked an eyebrow.

I managed to salvage myself by quickly saying, "I had just been reading it, I didn't have time to put it away."

"You are so the pot calling the kettle black, 'Mione." Ginny snickered.

I didn't respond to her comment. I didn't want to give anything away. Instead, I sat her down on Percy's clean couch, and sat next to her, my hands folded anxiously. "What's up, Gin?" I asked, trying to get it out of her quickly so that she could leave. I couldn't even fathom what would happen if Percy and Ginny ran into each other. Nothing good, I assumed.

Ginny took a deep breath, and looked at me directly. I suddenly felt extremely intimidated. "I'm thinking about sleeping with Harry before I go to Hogwarts." Ginny told me, biting her lower lip in anxiety. I stared at her. She wanted to do what?

"It's just that, I love him, and I know he loves me. I know that we're going to end up together. I just want to speed the process along a tad." She said, sounding sincere. I shook my head instantly.

"No, Ginny. You shouldn't." I told her, trying to sound nice, but her red face told me she took it the wrong way. "Something bad could happen, trust me-"

"Because you're so experienced on the subject." Ginny snapped, crossing her arms. I stuck out my chin indignantly.

"I actually am, for your information!" I shot back, scowling. Ginny's angry demeanour halted, and she looked at me, half-impressed, half-disgusted.

"Wait…you and Ron? No. Why didn't you tell me?" Ginny whined, stamping her foot on the ground dramatically. Her voice had risen several octaves. I tried to calm her down. I certainly did not want her to get the wrong idea.

"No, not him. Someone…someone else. Don't tell anyone!" I tried to shush her, but she jumped up, shrieking.

"I can't believe this!" She grinned, her long red hair swishing as she spun around. "So you can't tell me not to do it, because you already have!"

Ginny let out a small giggle, and turned to face me, looking as if she had won. I shook my head repeatedly, getting slightly annoyed.

"No, Ginny, I regret it. I certainly regret it." I bit my tongue. How could I say that? I did not regret it. Not one bit. I hoped Fred wouldn't hate me for saying that. He had to know that it was the best night of my life. I tried to think that over like a mantra, trying to somehow send it to Fred while Ginny stopped smiling.

"Why? Was he awful?" Ginny whispered, sounding silly again. I wished I could calm her down. She wasn't easy to talk to when she was so hyper. I closed my eyes in frustration, pushing my bushy hair out of my face.

"No, he was incredible!" There you go, Fred. "But that's not the point! Bad things can come out of sleeping with someone when you're not ready." I had to convince her. I could never wish for this to happen to Ginny or Harry. Ginny wasn't mature enough to do it. I knew that. But Harry wouldn't say no. He was a boy, after all. And Ginny was beautiful.

"Like what?" Ginny remarked, "Pregnancy?" She scoffed. I felt my stomach drop. "I think I'm smart enough not to get pregnant, Hermione." I bit down hard, trying to prevent the tears from coming. It didn't work. I turned away from Ginny, trying to hide my emotions, but it didn't work. I broke out into a sob, and fell to the ground. I felt her hands on my back. "Hermione? What's wrong? Why are you-" She stopped abruptly, staring at my stomach. I realized my shirt had pulled up slightly while I had been on the ground, revealing the bump. She gaped wordlessly, shaking her head.

I took her hands, squeezing them tightly. Ginny stared at me, not looking very coherent. Then, she spoke lowly, "You're pregnant?"

I burst out into a fresh set of tears, and clung to her. "Oh, Ginny, I was so dumb! I was so caught up in the moment that I completely forgot, and now he's gone and it's all my fault!" I sobbed into her shoulder, ruining the cloth. I tried to stay there, but she reeled back, pushing me from her and holding me at a distance.

"Wait…he's gone? Hermione, who's the father?" Ginny exclaimed, almost shouting. I shook my head, the tears dripping down my chin. I watched as comprehension flickered in her gaze, and her lips parted into a gasp. I nodded, answering her unspoken realization. Tears were dripping from her eyes as well as she pulled me back into her, resting her chin on my shoulder.

"I d-didn't know, that…you and Fred…were…" She trailed, not finishing her sentence.

"We weren't. Not until three days before the War." I choked, nesting my head tightly into her neck. "That's all it took." I hoped this would teach her a lesson. Maybe now she'd realize how stupid she'd be to sleep with Harry. She could turn out like me. Like me. I coughed, turning my head to the side. I was one of those girls now. The one's that your parents warn you not to be. The ones you see on the news and think 'Well, just another stupid teenage girl'. I was just another one. I was stupid.

"Hermione…" Ginny started, but she didn't finish. At that moment, the door opened. I stopped breathing, horror firing up inside. I reluctantly looked up at Ginny, but she was staring at the door in anger. I turned to look at the base of her problem.

There stood Percy, fresh out of work, pink-faced, and staring at his sister in shock.


	7. To Argue

_How did we get here when I used to know you so well?_

_- - Paramore_

**Chapter Seven** - To Argue

Ginny drew herself to her full height. She stood, her fists locked at her sides, quivering in anger. I hardly knew what for; sure, he didn't attend the funeral, but that wasn't exactly punishable by death. I stared at Percy, trying to get a reading from him, but he stood wordlessly, staring at his sister.

"What the bloody hell are you doing here?" Ginny demanded, her face turning bright red. I saw Percy's ears darken, and he looked annoyed.

"This happens to be my flat." He shot back at her, crossing his arms. Percy then turned his gaze to me, indignant. I could see the confusion and anger in his eyes. I sighed, standing up, drying my face quickly. Ginny rounded on me, her mouth opening in a snarl.

"Ginny, I know what this looks like-" I started.

"What this looks like? What this looks like is that you lied to me, Hermione! You lied to all of us." Ginny exclaimed, pointing at Percy. "And not to mention you're living with this prat-"

"Excuse me?" Percy intervened, highly affronted.

Ginny looked at him as if testing him to interrupt her again. Then, she looked back at me. "He sacked my dad, Hermione. Did he happen to mention that?" A look of shock crossed over my face as I spun around to look at Percy, my hands on my hips.

"You sacked your own father!" I near shouted. How could he do that? He knew that the Weasley's lived off less than average financial standings. He was once a part of that family. How could he fire the one who was bringing in the little money they had?

Percy put his briefcase on the kitchen counter, looking at me sternly. "It had to be done. He was insulting the officials who had been bewitched by Thicknesse, calling them daft and unqualified. If I had let him stay, it would've been deemed a conflict of interest."

"Screw you, Percy." Ginny spat; Percy looked at her quickly, startled. I felt a twinge of sympathy. I knew that out of all of Ginny's brothers, Percy had been the one looking after her the most. He had been more than devastated when she had been taken into the Chamber of Secrets. Ron and Harry told me he had shut himself in his dormitory, refusing to talk to anyone. I could see it really hurt him to have her talk to him like this. The wounded look on Percy's face was that of pure sincerity, something unheard of.

Percy stepped forward, his face clearing as he looked upon his sister. "You're only seventeen, Ginny. You wouldn't understand how a business works-"

"No," Ginny interrupted, "but I do know how a family works. And family members are there for each other. They put their family before all else. They don't leave them in a time of need, and they certainly don't skip out on funerals to work." Percy winced at her statement. Ginny kept going like a steamroller. "If you don't care about us Percy, that's fine, but you could at least pretend to. Do you have any idea what you did to Mum? Or George? Or Fr-"

"Get out, Ginny." Percy stopped her abruptly, his hands clenching into fists. I could see blind anger rising in him, like I had so many times before in Ron.

I turned to Ginny. "Maybe you should just go…" I started weakly, but she shook her head.

"No, Hermione. I can't believe you sought to living with Percy to deal with this. You should've told us. We would've helped you. You know that." Ginny turned to me, looking concerned. "Percy can't do anything for you. You need to tell everyone."

"No!" I cried, taking her shoulders in my hands and shaking them. "I can't do that! I can't tell Ron. Promise me you won't tell anyone! Not even Harry. Not anyone." I glanced between each of Ginny's brown eyes, trying to make her see sense. "Please."

Ginny surveyed me, and then sighed. "Okay, fine. I won't tell anyone." I leaned in to hug her, but she held out her hands, stopping me. "However, can I make a suggestion? You should tell George about you and Fred." I could tell she was still troubled about my pregnancy.

"He already knows. Not that I'm pregnant," I cut her off; she had opened her mouth to ask the question I knew she would've asked, "but he knows that Fred and I were a…thing."

Ginny nodded, and then glanced at Percy. "I think you should move out of here. If you tell George the whole truth, he'd let you stay with him, I know he would." I heard Percy shuffle silently in place. There was an awkward silence. Then,

"I want to stay with Percy." Both Weasley's gasped in surprise; Ginny's mouth was actually open in shock, while Percy had dropped his travel cloak on the floor. I glanced at them both until one of them spoke. Percy recovered first.

"You know you're more than welcome to stay with me, Hermione." Percy told me, walking towards me. He put his hand on my shoulder, grasping it slightly before letting go, and turning to face Ginny from next to me. Ginny looked furious.

"Fine, then. But don't forget about Ron, Hermione. He's starting to panic about you." Ginny gave Percy one last contemptuous look, and then apparated. I exhaled roughly, holding myself. Percy put his hands on both of my shoulders, turning me to face him.

"Hermione, if you don't want to stay here, I understand completely. Not that I want you moving," Percy added quickly, "but I understand if you'd rather stay with George."

I looked up at him, taking in his sunken face and worried eyes. Ginny was being far too hard on Percy. She didn't understand his pain. I remembered suddenly what George had said to me at the funeral. _"Hermione…you're the only one who knows how I feel. The only one who was ever close enough to him to rival me."_ George had been wrong. There was one more person who knew how he felt. How I felt. Fred's death had taken an immense toll on Percy. I saw this now. I sighed, and asked the question I had been dying to ask since Ginny had let the information slip.

"Why did you sack your father, Percy?"

Percy looked at me, intense guilt in his eyes. He knew that I had seen right through his façade. "I couldn't handle the shame. I couldn't watch him look at me, knowing it was my fault that Fred was gone. But I'm going to re-hire him as soon as possible." I watched as his pale face became rather blotchy. On instinct, I reached up to graze my fingers across Percy's cheek.

"You aren't the reason he's dead, Percy. Augustus Rookwood is." At the mention of his name, Percy snarled. I drew my hand back, letting it fall to my side. He calmed down, looking apologetic.

"You don't understand." Percy whispered, letting go of me. He walked by me, and went to his room, closing the door.

I sighed.


	8. To Feel

_I forgot to say out loud_

_how beautiful you really are to me. _

_- - P!nk_

**Chapter Eight** - To Feel

* * *

I walked briskly down the halls of St. Mungo's, attempting to straighten my robes out as I clutched a purple vial in my left hand tightly. I felt my heart racing as I looked from door to door, trying to find the right room to deliver the vial in.

My job had become increasingly more demanding as the days went on. The summer holidays was apparently a very busy time for the hospital. I had barely any time to train because I was being called to assist Healers in helping the unfortunate people who find their way here. It had been a lot of hands on practice, which is fine, but I felt nervous about most of it. I was hardly a trained Healer.

After two hours of trying to shove an antidote down a gasping witch who had been cursed so that her nose grew to be the entire length of her body, I felt as if I had enough. I was incredibly tired. All I wanted to do was go home and forget about St. Mungo's for a little while.

I left the hospital early, walking down the streets of Diagon Alley. I saw the dim lights of Weasley's Wizard Wheezes and felt the familiar tug of despair in my stomach. I strode to the window carefully, and as usual, George was there, crying over something of Fred's. The sight never became tedious or uncomfortable or annoying. It was always heartbreaking and wrenching to watch him sob over one of Fred's old artifacts. I kept trying to move myself towards the door, but that never happened. I instead watched sadly as George suffered. It was worse than being the one who made him suffer.

I mulled over Ginny's words from a few weeks previously. She had told me that George deserved to know that I was holding his twin's baby. I wanted to go into the shop and tell him everything. I wanted to tell him that he was going to have a niece or nephew that was the child of Fred. That's all I wanted. But for some reason, I couldn't bring myself to walk those few steps to the door.

I sighed, and backed away from the store. Turning on the spot, I Disapparated. I didn't know if George ever heard the loud crack outside of his shop every night. I never stayed long enough to find out.

I landed with a thud on the doormat of Percy's flat. I let myself in, turning to close the door. I heard a girlish giggle coming from the couch, followed by, "Percy…stop it!" I frowned as I turned to see something I never thought I would. A pretty blonde girl was sitting on the couch while Percy tickled her sides while kissing her neck. I instantly felt a repulsion light up inside me that had nothing to do with the pregnancy. I gripped the door tightly and slammed it. It made a very loud, disturbing sound.

The girl squeaked and fell promptly off of the couch, falling on her bottom. Percy wrenched his face away from her and looked towards the door. His cheeks turned pink.

"Hermione!" Percy exclaimed, jumping up from his seat as if he had sat on a salamander. I crossed my arms, surveying him distastefully. I twisted some of my bushy hair to stick behind my ear as I looked down at the girl on the floor. She was slightly recognizable.

Percy didn't help the girl up. Instead, he just pointed to her and said, "This is Audrey." I snorted derisively. As if that made the situation better. He just continued gaping at me until I took a step forward to put my things on the counter.

"Hello, Audrey. I'm Hermione." I told the girl on the ground nicely. She smiled and stood up, using Percy's shoulder for support. I felt a twinge of annoyance.

"Hi. I think we went to school together." Audrey told me, eyeing me up and down. She was right. I remembered her as a Hufflepuff prefect in Percy's year that used to tell me to comb my hair in the loo. No wonder I didn't like her.

I didn't answer her but instead walked towards the fridge to grab a water bottle. Audrey stood awkwardly, swaying her spot as if thinking of what to say. Percy broke the silence.

"So, Hermione, how was work?" He asked in a tone I could dub as fake. I rolled my eyes to myself. Percy never asked how work was. He was never home enough to ask me how work was. I shot him a look before taking a sip of water.

"Just peachy." I told him, smiling a little too broadly. His look faltered slightly. I ignored him. "I was actually going to Ron's, so I'll see you later." Going to Ron's? Where did that come from? I had no plans of going to see Ron before I had walked into the flat. What was I doing?

It may have just been me, but it looked like an expression of agitation flitted across Percy's face. "Do you think that would be wise?" He asked in a condescending tone as Audrey reached to grasp his hand. I stared at their intertwined fingers.

"It'd be wiser than staying here." I replied coldly, placing my water bottle open on the counter as I walked towards the door. I didn't look to see Percy's expression because I doubted it would be a good one. I instead walked out of the flat and Disapparated on the spot.

Why was I so annoyed by that? I pegged if off as the pregnancy. I had been getting mood swings for awhile. I suddenly felt extremely embarrassed. Audrey was going to think I was the jealous roommate now, and Percy would be displeased. I knew it wasn't wise to pick fights with Percy. He was the one paying my bills after all. But why had that upset me so much?

I landed outside of Ron's flat abruptly. I fell into the door slightly, hitting my cheek on the wood. I leaned back, massaging it as the door opened. Ron stood there, looking very concerned.

"Hermione? What was that noise?" He asked, looking around.

"It was me. I hit the door by accident." The annoyance leaked into my tone once more. I tried to subdue it. I hadn't seen Ron in over a month. I looked at him, feeling my heart pound slightly. He looked awful. He was paler than usual, and his hair looked as if it were fading. I was about to tell him how bad he looked when Ron suddenly reached out and pulled my face towards his, kissing me.

I forgot all about my mood swings and all about Percy. I kissed Ron back, wrapping my arms around his neck as he gripped my waist, pulling me into his flat. He kissed my face as he pushed me back into the door, closing it. I leaned my head back, letting him kiss my neck.

"I missed you, too." I told him mournfully as he looked up to meet my eyes. Ron's eyes were full of unabashed sadness.

"Why haven't you visited me, Hermione?" Ron moaned, resting his forehead against mine. I breathed with him, trying to calm my heart rate down.

"I've had so much work, Ron, it's been near impossible-"

"Don't say that. Please." Ron pleaded, kissing my lips again as if to silence me. My eyes remained open as he pulled away from me. I brought my hands to caress his cheeks, closing my eyes. Ron sighed. "Hermione…there's something going on. I know it."

I opened my eyes, looking at him peevishly. I couldn't tell him. Not when he had just been kissing me like that. I couldn't let him know that I had slept with his dead brother. I couldn't tell him I was living with the brother he hated. I couldn't do that. The words failed me.

Ron kept staring at me as he leaned his forehead against my chest. His shoulders moved up and down as he spoke into my body, "Please don't leave me. I feel you pulling away from me, 'Mione. I can just feel it." I rubbed his back soothingly, trying to shush him.

"You don't know what you're talking about, Ron. Please. I'm not here to end things with you. I'm here to be with you." Ron looked up at me slowly, removing his head from my chest. All I wanted was to see him smile again. I couldn't take the misery that seemed to encompass my every day life. I needed happiness.

Ron leaned in to kiss me, but this time, the romance and the love was hardly noticeable. The frustration and the need took over. I knew what he wanted.

I remembered Viktor pecking me once on the lips when I was fourteen. I remembered Cormac trying to snog me obnoxiously when I was in the sixth year. I thought of how Fred had once kissed me with enough passion to send me to the floor, weak in the knees. I thought of Percy kissing Audrey on the couch.

I kissed Ron back with equal passion, letting him remove my coat. I wanted this. I had always wanted this…right?

* * *

I woke up the next morning before Ron. He was asleep, the covers pulled up half over his bare chest. His head was in the pillow, his red hair sticking up at different angles. I felt a surge of emotion at the sight. Sadly, it wasn't because I was so happy about what had happened the night before. It wasn't the joy of seeing Ron so vulnerable because of me. No. It was because I longed to wake up next to a similar sight that was no longer possible for me to see.

_I felt a poke somewhere around my lower back. I tried to ignore it. Maybe if I pretended to be asleep he'd stop annoying me? I kept my eyes closed, ignoring the presence behind me._

_"Hermione." God his voice made me want jump in ecstasy. I steadily ignored him, keeping my head turned away. I felt Fred wrap his arms tightly around my waist, spooning me. He rested his chin on my shoulder, whispering into my ear. "Hermione, my love. Wake up."_

_I didn't move. I just wanted a few more minutes of sleep…my body parts still ached from the night before. Fred began kissing the skin behind my ear, letting his tongue tease the spot. I swallowed. I could feel his wide grin on the back of my neck._

_"If you don't wake up, I'll have to make you." Fred warned me, pecking my neck slowly. _

_"Try me." I whispered hoarsely out of the side of my mouth. _

_Suddenly, I was thrown onto my back. My eyes opened in shock as I saw Fred Weasley on top of me, pinning my wrists to the bed. I struggled against him, but couldn't help but laugh. "No, Fred! Get off!" I tried to shout, but he merely laughed and sunk his head down, laying his lips upon my throat._

_"No. You're mine now, and I want to spend time with you." Fred sat up, crossing his arms as he straddled me. He pretended to look stern._

_I giggled as I hit his chest. "I don't belong to you." I told him, smirking._

_Fred grinned wickedly as he curled his fingers back around my wrists. He leaned down, pressing his forehead against mine. His smile left him, and he began to breathe ruggedly inches from my lips as he looked me in the eye. I looked back at him, my stomach swirling in excitement and nerves. Fred leaned closer, his lips barely brushing mine. Then, he let go._

_I lay there, staring blankly at the ceiling, breathing heavily out of my mouth. I looked over slowly as I watched him pull on a shirt over his boxers. He glanced out of the window, and then looked back at me. Fred gave me a look that I knew was something only angels could have created. I felt my entire body warm as he spoke, "I have reason to believe you do."_

Ron stirred from next to me, grunting as he flipped onto his back, looking at me dazedly. "You awake?" He asked, rubbing his eyes.

I bit my lip, staring at the ceiling. "Yeah. I'm awake."

Ron flipped back over and fell asleep.

__


	9. To Compromise

_It's not always rainbows and butterflies_

_it's compromise that moves us along._

_ - - Maroon 5_

**Chapter Nine** - To Compromise

* * *

I left Ron's flat by 8 o clock that night. Thank Merlin it was a Friday, otherwise I'd be in rough shape for work the next morning. I focused on getting myself out of there, trying not to dwell on the thoughts that were continuously circling around in my mind. I tried to push Fred out of my thoughts as much as I could, but that had proven to be quite challenging.

Ron hadn't been too keen on letting me leave. "You can stay the night, Hermione," He had said as I slipped into my coat. "Can't you stay for a little bit longer?"

"I can't," I told him, lying through my teeth, "my Aunt Regina will be looking for me." It was a lame excuse, but I hadn't asked to be in this situation. I turned around to see Ron looking quite put out on the bed. I sighed and strode over to him, kissing him on the cheek.

"I love you, Hermione." Ron said quietly, looking up at me when I pulled away. I stared at him. Come on, Granger, work your mouth! Say it back! It's only three words!

"Thank you." Thank you? Thank you? Are you effing mad? I couldn't even look at Ron to his reaction. I was too ashamed of myself.

After I left the flat, I realized I was incredibly hungry after the whole ordeal. Trying to forget everything that happened at Ron's flat, I Apparated to Percy's quickly, opening the door quietly. I knew he'd most likely be awake, but I knew I should be courteous nonetheless.

I walked into an empty flat. There was nobody in the living room or the kitchen. I closed the door behind me, craning my neck to look down the hall. Percy's door was closed. I assumed he was in there with Audrey. Rolling my eyes, I walked to the fridge, opening it up.

I bit my tongue at the smells now invading my nose. Most of them were just plain revolting. But then I saw a green jar that made all the bad smells fade. I grasped the jar of pickles excitedly, wrenching the lid off. I left the fridge door open, greedy as I sat down, popping a pickle into my mouth. It tasted like pure heaven. I ate another one. And another. And another.

Pretty soon, the whole jar was empty. I frowned, putting the jar down as I made my way back to the open fridge. There were no more green jars. I sighed, and looked back to my original jar. It still had the juice in it. Making my way over to the counter, I took the jar in my hand and downed it in one gulp.

"Ahem."

I choked on the pickle juice, making it cause a rift in my throat. I coughed wildly, clutching the counter until I stopped. Percy was standing in the frame of the hallway, staring at me in half amusement, half repulsion. He threw me a roll of paper towels once I calmed down. I scowled at him as I wiped my mouth clean.

Percy was dressed up, no longer in his Ministry robes. Today he wore a black dress shirt and khaki pants. I watched him beadily as he put on his shoes. I wondered silently when Audrey would make her appearance from the bedroom.

"How far along are you now, Hermione?" Percy asked me as he sat down on the couch, tying the laces of his shoe. I threw the paper towels away as I moved to close the fridge door.

"Abut four months." I told him. I watched as his eyes moved to my small but defined baby bump. I swallowed, feeling the scrutiny. "But no one can really tell just yet. They just assume I'm gaining weight." I informed him matter-of-factly. Ron hadn't even noticed my stomach. I guess he was too caught up in the heat of passion.

Percy nodded stiffly, standing up. "And so you have all of the necessary medicine and vitamins for it?"

"You forget that I work at 's." I reminded him. Percy shrugged as he neared the counter. I looked at him warily. It looked as though he was leading up to something.

"Are you going to find out the gender? I believe that you can by this point." Percy said pompously as if he was suddenly Mr. Pregnancy. I scoffed loudly.

"I'm not going to find out the gender." I said, moving around the counter to walk towards the hallway. I wanted to put on fresh clothes. I could still smell the musky scent that was radiating off of my clothes. I was surprised that Percy couldn't smell it.

"Why not?" Percy demanded from behind me. He sounded extremely let down. I stopped on the way to my room, turning slightly.

"Because I think that Fred would've preferred the spontaneity of it all." I said truthfully. "I don't think he would've wanted to know before hand." I grimaced slightly, attempting to turn around again. But Percy kept talking.

"But I think that under the circumstances it would be best to-"

"You're not the father, Percy." I informed him, turning around completely by this point and walking into my bedroom. I shut the door behind me. Silence followed, and I suddenly felt bad. First, I left Ron in bed without even a reason to stay with me, and now, I had just offended Percy. No, he wasn't the father, but his intentions were in the right place.

This mess was becoming far too complex for me. My hormones were too wound up to even begin to sort out. I felt incredibly guilty about sleeping with Ron. He had thought it was my first time. He thought we were sharing something special and something worthwhile. He didn't know that I already had given that to his older brother. Not to mention, when he made himself most vulnerable to me, I let him down.

I couldn't even bring myself to comfort George. I didn't want to have to look at his face and see Fred there. I couldn't do that. And I couldn't talk to Ginny, not now, after she knew about all of my lies. I knew she didn't see me like I used to be.

And I don't even know why Percy is continuing to let me stay here. I feel as though I've been more than a burden on him. We weren't even that close. It was just as if I had barged in and demanded a place to stay. He was only trying to help and I kept being rude to him.

I moved to my wardrobe, deciding to change into something nice. I picked out a blue sundress that had always been a little big on me. I knew it was about time to start looking for some new clothes, but I didn't want to face that reality quite yet. I shrugged out of my dirty clothes and freshened up into the dress. I wrapped my hair into a messy knot before leaving the bedroom.

Percy was sitting on the couch. I was a little surprised; I had thought he would've left by now for whatever high class function he had to go to. He looked expressionlessly into his folded hands, his glasses on the end of his long nose.

"How about we, er…go out?" I asked him, breaking the silence. Percy looked up at me with a confused expression.

"Go out?" He echoed, making it sound foreign. I nodded, but then realized how that sounded.

"I mean just go somewhere and forget things for a day. I know I could use it. And I'm betting you could, too." I said, looking at him pointedly. Percy looked less than fabulous. His eyes still had shadows underneath them and his clothes still hung off of a particularly thin body. Besides, I wanted to make up for my rudeness.

Percy stood up, slipping his hands in his pockets as he surveyed me over his horn-rimmed glasses. "Are you sure you'd be up for that?" He asked, his eyes travelling down to my mid-section. I hugged myself, hiding my body from view.

"Merlin, I'm pregnant, Perce, not dying." I muttered distractedly, looking away from him. I heard him gasp slightly. I looked up at him, confused. Then I realized. Perce. I had called him by the pet name that Fred had always had for him. I didn't even mean to say it. It just came out.

Percy recovered quickly, however, and shook his head. "Fine, fine. We can go somewhere." He didn't look too enthused about it. However, I nodded back in response and stuck my hands in my dress pockets, following Percy's tall figure out of the door way.

I realized that I had never walked through the halls of Percy's building. I had always Apparated to the flat. We walked down the stairs in silence. I could feel a mute anger pulsing through him, but I decided to ignore it. The outside of the building was extremely nice, but squished between two other buildings like every other house in London. I had no idea where to go from here, but Percy seemed to. I followed him down the streets. I felt as if I was a child, following my parent while they focused on where they were going.

After a few minutes of silent walking, Percy looked at me. He didn't say anything, but looked at me thoroughly. I was surprised that I didn't feel violated. I just looked back at him wordlessly, watching his blue eyes take me in. Then, he smiled lightly.

"You've changed a lot since you were the eager first year that used to discuss her favorite classes with me." Percy told me, stopping outside what looked like a restaurant. I managed to smile back at him, shrugging.

"I wish I could say the same for you," I said, my lips twitching upwards, "but you'll always be perfect Percy the Prefect to me." I thought he would scowl at me, or glare, but instead, he chuckled softly.

"That's what Fred used to call me." Percy said, staring off towards the Thames River behind the restaurant. I nodded. That was why I said it.

"I think underneath it all he really admired you." I told him, moving closer to put a hand on his arm. Percy looked back at me, and nodded slightly. It didn't seem like he agreed.

Percy changed the subject. "Come on, let's get some real food in you." He moved from under my arm and led me up the stairs to the river viewing restaurant. He got us a table for two near the window, and we ate dinner together. It was the first meal I had enjoyed in a long time. I realized that some of Percy's lectures were actually interesting, and we had a small debate over Goblin regulations right before the bill was placed on our table.

Percy reached over to grab the bill from under my hand. I objected at first, but then decided to let him have it. I stood up from the table, pushing my chair in while he paid for the bill. He suddenly dropped several notes on the table in frustration.

"Er, Hermione, you're Muggle-born, aren't you?" Percy asked, staring incredulously at the money on the table. I laughed and nodded, sorting through them to pay for the meal. He half-smiled in an abashed way, and we left the restaurant. It was 11 o clock by the time we were done, so the streets weren't too crowded. Percy walked towards a small pier, and I followed him. He rested his pale palms on the railing, looking out towards the river.

It was times like these that I actually enjoyed spending time with Percy. I never thought I'd be able to because of everything that had happened, but being with him like this was nice. He seemed almost normal as he watched a few boats sail down the Thames peaceably.

"You know," Percy started, and I almost expected another monologue, "I never have that much time to just relax. I'm nearly always working." I stared at him blankly, not knowing if wanted me to respond. Apparently, he didn't. "I love my job, don't get me wrong…but I wish sometimes that my life was a lot easier."

I took a deep breath, standing next to him on the pier. I glanced at him once before looking back to the river. "I think you should go visit your family."

Percy was shaking his head before I had time to retaliate. "No, I already told you why I can not do that."

I turned to him indignantly, "Oh, Percy, please! You are not responsible for Fred's death!" I felt the knot in my stomach tighten slightly.

Percy's mouth became a curt line, and he barely moved his lips as he said, "It'd be best for all of us if I just never went back the Burrow."

I snapped. Maybe it was my anger or just my hormonal stage, but I grabbed Percy's upper arms and faced him towards me, shaking him as much as I could; he was much taller than me. "Listen to me. You're killing them right now. They need you, Percy, they needed you at the funeral, and there to be their son!" I looked into his sad blue eyes, seeing a familiarity there. I ignored it. "You are a Weasley, and Weasley's stick together!"

"You don't understand!" Percy snarled, his hands pushing mine away, "I can't go back! Not now. I can't face them. I can't see my Mother, or my Father, or…George…" Percy turned completely away from me, hiding his face. I felt my anger evaporate. All I had for him now was pity. He spoke in a muted tone, "I don't deserve my family's love, not anymore."

"George loves you, Percy." I told him quietly, watching his back. He didn't move. I sighed, and walked around him carefully so he would be facing me. He looked at me slowly. "Your mother loves you, your dad loves you, Ron loves you, Bill loves you, Ginny loves you-"

"Not Ginny." Percy disagreed meekly.

"Yes, Ginny." I defended, shaking my head. I reached up to touch Percy's face, to tilt it to look at mine. "You are loved. Please. We'll go back together. Tomorrow." Percy grimaced slightly, shaking his head. I looked down, frowning. "I know you miss them, Percy. You know it's the right thing to do."

Percy looked like a man stuck between a rock and a hard spot. He looked around wildly as if looking for a reason not to go strung in the air. But he could find nothing. He sighed, and ran a hand through his curly red hair.

"Fine." Percy agreed in a small voice, looking at me carefully. Overjoyed, I threw my arms around Percy's waist, squeezing him tightly to me. I realized a moment later that he might react badly to this, but he didn't. Instead, I felt his hands on my back and his head on top of mine. "Thank you, Hermione."

I smiled into his chest, finally looking forward to something. "I'll always be on your side, Percy."

I couldn't see it, but I had a feeling that Percy grinned for the first time since I had started living with him.

__


End file.
